Of Cities and Shoes

2011

2012-01-01T04:27:00.002+08:00

- Seattle, 2011 -

Haven't been updating this blog for a while now, and what better time to update than today, the last day of 2011? :)

2011 has been a much better year than 2010, in terms of health, and more, alhamdulillah. :) Of course, there were downs, but how could I not be grateful even during those tough times? Alhamdulillah for all of His blessings, which come in various ways. Alhamdulillah for my family and friends, for all of their company, listening ear, and help when I needed it. Alhamdulillah for finishing my second Master's (as a friend always likes to remind me of it, though I still haven't seen the significance of having these paper degrees). Alhamdulillah for finishing 2.5 years of my PhD program, and may Allah SWT give me the strength and perseverance to see through it, ameen! Alhamdulillah for everything, especially the little things, alhamdulillah.

I pray that 2012 will be even better and filled with lots of travels, photos, happy moments, and laughter, ameen. :) As usual, I would like to repeat the du'a I have made during the previous years: May Allah SWT continue to look after me as He has done thus far, and bless me with spiritual peace, guiding me along the right path in every decision I make, and as an added bonus, to a soulmate, ameen. May He also make me closer to Him, such that everything I do is for His pleasure, and His pleasure alone, ameen.

Here's to an absolutely blessed 2012, and again, may everyone find peace, love, wisdom, and happiness! :)

Eid Mubarak!

2011-08-30T15:45:00.001+08:00

- Missouri Botanical Garden, Saint Louis, 2010 -

Life in Mini (12)

2011-06-01T11:52:00.000+08:00

- Stanford University, CA, 2011 -

Hello Spring (and Summer and Winter??)

2011-03-27T12:27:00.000+08:00

- Saint Louis, MO, 2011 -

This photo was taken just a few hours ago, and is such a stark change from the previous photo, which was taken just a couple of days ago. We must be the only place that has the seasons of spring, summer, and winter, all in the span of a week. Alhamdulillah anyway! :)

Hello Spring

2011-03-24T08:57:00.000+08:00

- Saint Louis, MO, 2011 -

Life in Mini (11)

2011-03-16T10:08:00.000+08:00

- Navy Pier, Chicago, 2011 -

It's spring break, alhamdulillah! :)

Goodbye Winter

2011-02-16T11:57:00.000+08:00

- Saint Louis, MO, 2011 -

Temperatures are increasing, weather's getting lovelier, and that can only mean something: Spring! :)

Alhamdulillah. :)

First Week of School

2011-01-22T20:36:00.000+08:00

- Graham Chapel, WashU, Saint Louis, MO, 2011 -

Survived the first week of school, alhamdulillah. It has been snowing cats and dogs this past week (though you cannot really see it in this picture), so I have been trying to walk very carefully to school, so as not to fall again. Hopefully, the boots that I have bought will help, insya-Allah. Many thanks to Laura for helping me! I am blessed to have such wonderful friends, alhamdulillah. :)

Keep warm if you are experiencing winter!

2010

2011-01-03T05:45:00.000+08:00

- Chicago, 2010 -

Ah, 2010, what a huge difference from 2009, masya-Allah.

Had to go for surgery, barely ate for more than a month, fell twice in three days (literally, not in love), just recovered from a scabby face, and now I'm still recovering from an awful throat infection. It's probably not a good idea to do an end-of-year review while I am sick, but really, how could I be nothing but grateful to Allah SWT for all that has happened to me? Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah) for Him taking such good care of me, giving me such kind, lovely, and wonderful friends, who look after me while I am thousands of miles away from home. Alhamdulillah for my wonderful family, who are always there for me. Alhamdulillah for all the people I have encountered, and who have become my new friends, thereby making my life a much more interesting one. Alhamdulillah for all my little adventures (and awkward moments), as I seek to complete the other half of my deen. Alhamdulillah for surviving 1.5 years into my PhD program, and finishing all of my required coursework. Alhamdulillah for everything, truly.

I can only pray that 2011 will be a better year and more, insya-Allah. To repeat a du'a from last year, may Allah SWT continue to look after me as He has done thus far, and bless me with spiritual peace, guiding me along the right path in every decision I make, and as an added bonus, to a soulmate, ameen.

Here's to an absolutely blessed 2011, and again, may everyone find peace, love, wisdom, and happiness! :)

A Spiritual Winter

2010-12-29T08:55:00.001+08:00

- Saint Louis, MO, 2010 -

Just came back from Muktamar 2010, an annual meeting organized by the Malaysian Islamic Student Group (MISG) and Indonesian Muslim Society in America (IMSA), alhamdulillah. It was lovely to be able to attend talks and reflect on our deen; may Allah SWT guide us to act upon the knowledge with which He has blessed us, ameen. Met with a wonderful American Muslim sister, who is a convert, and I pray that Allah SWT blesses our friendship, ameen. I also pray that my sore throat gets better soon, insya-Allah! :) This is the first winter that I'm not back in Singapore, so I hope that I'll be more productive in terms of work and catch up on lots of sleep, insya-Allah. Looking forward to writing my end-of-year reflection for this blog, insya-Allah, and I leave you with a quote that I paraphrased from Sheikh Omar Baloch:

"When a girl loves a guy and wants the guy to know, she gives him subtle hints like a box of chocolates. The universe is like a box of chocolates. In the universe are signs that Allah wants you to discover and turn to Him, because He loves you."

First Snow

2010-12-01T13:31:00.003+08:00

- Saint Louis, MO, 2010 -

The first snow fell during Thanksgiving last Thursday, subhanallah, which was a pleasant surprise, since all I was expecting was a "light wintry mix". Many things to finish up before the end of the semester, so it is time to put on my productivity "cap" and procrastinate less, insya-Allah. Keep warm if you are experiencing winter and may Allah SWT always make it easier for all of us, ameen.

Beautiful Day

2010-11-28T04:16:00.001+08:00

- St. Louis, MO, 2010 -

Looking up I see,

A sun shining so brightly,

In this cold winter.

The Heart Within

2010-11-14T13:10:00.001+08:00

- St Louis, MO, 2010 -

Was chopping up onions and found a lovely surprise in one of them, subhanallah. :) In other news, I have been really busy with grading, reading, writing, and studying, so I'm really looking forward to the conference at the end of the week and then the Thanksgiving holidays, which will hopefully give me some respite from work, insya-Allah.

In case I do not update my blog before Tuesday, Eid Mubarak to my fellow Muslims and may Allah SWT always guide us in everything we do, ameen. :)

Nothing Gold Can Stay

2010-10-31T10:32:00.002+08:00

- Lone Elk Park, MO, 2009 -

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

- Robert Frost (1923)

Obsolete

2010-10-24T11:08:00.000+08:00

- Tanjong Pagar Railway Station, Singapore, 2010 -

Fifth Day

2010-09-24T10:50:00.001+08:00

- Missouri Botanical Garden, 2010 -

You,

who quench my thirst,

like rain that falls for the first

time in the desert,

removing all of my hurt,

giving me a high,

as I,

in hopes this spirit will last,

break my fast.

Life in Mini (10)

2010-09-20T09:30:00.000+08:00

- Chicago, 2010 -

Eid Mubarak :)

2010-09-09T12:05:00.003+08:00

- Missouri Botanical Garden, 2010 -

A day of happiness

As we sincerely pray

For Allah's mercy and forgiveness

To make our sins go away

The month of Syawal we welcome

As we seek to make amends

A tearful farewell for some

When beloved Ramadan ends

Sayings of Love

2010-09-06T19:04:00.001+08:00

- The Muslim Reader, Singapore, 2009 -

(Click on the image to enlarge it)

Caution

2010-09-04T12:54:00.000+08:00

- Fremantle, Australia, 2008 -

When was the last time you took a risk, of which the only thing that you can be certain was the knowledge that Allah SWT knows what is best for you?

Sometimes...

2010-08-28T14:08:00.000+08:00

- The Pinnacle@Duxton, Singapore, 2010 -

...we fear asking questions simply because we fear hearing the answer.

Two Weeks

2010-08-24T19:12:00.000+08:00

- USA, 2010 -

My transit at the airport in San Francisco was madness, to say the least, given the long lines at immigrations/customs and that I was still waiting in line for security checks at the time I was supposed to be boarding my plane back to St Louis. It all worked out just fine, alhamdulillah, and I was rewarded with a good 5-hour view of beautiful mountains, rivers, lakes, fields, and more, subhanallah.

Reaching the halfway point of Ramadhan, how has this month been for you?

The Night

2010-08-19T10:05:00.002+08:00

- Singapore, 2010 -

告诉我你在哪里，我的白马王子。。。

La vie n'est jamais facile...

2010-08-15T19:01:00.000+08:00

- KPE Tunnel, Singapore, 2010 -

...mais on peut toujours essayer.

7 days

2010-08-04T19:33:00.001+08:00

- Sultan Mosque, Singapore, 2010 -

7 more days to Ramadhan and home in St Louis. :)

In Need of A Muse

2010-07-16T03:14:00.002+08:00

- St Louis, MO, 2010 -

I've been trying to write an article for my editor for the past couple of hours but alas, I've been suffering from the much-feared "writer's block". So they say, in order to get out of this rut, I'd need to move on to other things to take my mind off the article, although I wonder if that would just be another excuse for procrastination. I still need inspiration, so perhaps some might come to me in my sleep, insya-Allah.

In other news, it has officially been a month since I've been back in Singapore and 26 days till I go back to my home in St Louis! It has been nice to be back but I miss the fresh air, slow pace of life, abundant space, and solitude, especially in this terribly overpopulated island.

I am also trying to grapple with this terrible jaw pain of mine, which the surgery didn't seem to help. Lest I turn into a querulous spinster in need of romance/TLC/a sugar daddy etc., please pray for the pain to end once and for all, ameen!

Don't forget to pray for world peace too. :)

Life in Mini (9)

2010-05-30T05:47:00.001+08:00

- Chicago, IL, 2010 -

Wish I was somewhere else now. 16 days till I go back home.

Life in Mini (8)

2010-05-25T09:56:00.000+08:00

- Chicago, IL, 2010 -

Life in Mini (7)

2010-05-23T14:28:00.000+08:00

- Lake Michigan, Chicago, 2010 -

Smile :)

2010-05-18T15:04:00.003+08:00

- Saint Louis, 2010 -

Buying those taleidoscopes from the art museum has got to be the best $4 I spent on something that I could get back at home in Singapore for $1. Will be in Chicago from today till Friday with my lovely friend Baoqin, who was smiling for me in the photo above. Finally, a holiday where I don't have to worry about work, alhamdulillah! :)

On an even more awesome note, I do not have to see the oral surgeon again until December, insya-Allah! Cannot wait to fully recover and eat properly! :)

O Food

2010-05-16T14:06:00.001+08:00

- Saint Louis, 2010 -

I know this seems like a lazy post but food has been all that I can think about these days, given that I've been starving for officially 26 days now. For those yet to know, a much belated complication in the wisdom tooth surgery that I had done a year ago led to an infection and another surgery. In my hunger-induced delirium, I would wonder if my jaw will forget the action of chewing once I recover, if I actually do, insya-Allah.

On a lighter note, it's the summer holidays. :)

Someone To Watch Over Me

2010-02-14T07:33:00.000+08:00

- Rottnest Island, Australia, 2008 -

There's a saying old
says that love is blind
still we're often told
"seek and ye shall find"
so I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had
in mind

looking everywhere
haven't found him yet
he's the big affair
I cannot forget
only man I ever think of
with regret

I'd like to add his initials to my monogram
tell me where is the shepherd
for this lost lamb
There's a somebody I'm longing to see
I hope that he
turns out to be
someone to watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood
I know I could
always be good
to one who'll watch over me

although he may not be the man some girls think of
as handsome
to my heart
he carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed
follow my lead
oh how I need
someone to watch over me
someone to watch over me

-x-x-x-

Winter Wonderland

2010-02-14T06:25:00.003+08:00

- Forest Park, St Louis, 2010 -

It has been a really rough week and I can only pray that things will get better. Plenty of things to do but it's Saturday and I think I deserve a day off.. Well, not exactly a day off but at least I get to do housework. :P

In other news, do watch what you key in online, or else you'll end up paying USD14.95 like I did, which I suppose was a small price to pay in exchange for what I was trying to get. I bet your curiosity has now been piqued! ;)

Happy Valentine's Day & Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate it :)

Life's still good, alhamdulillah. :)

2009

2009-12-31T16:43:00.006+08:00

- Boston, MA, 2009 -

The time has finally come for the obligatory end-of-the-year reflection post. Looking at last year's post, I thought that the photo above with the airplane captures 2009 pretty well for me. With the count at 9 at this point, I must have taken more planes this year alone than in my whole life; perhaps I was exaggerating but you get the point.

2009 has been really good and blessed Alhamdulillah--I did finish my thesis on time, albeit not without a lot of pain; I am graduating with my Master's as soon as I submit my thesis electronically; I did get several offers for PhD programs and now, I have just survived my first semester as a PhD student. :) My first conference went superbly well, Alhamdulillah, and I have an open invitation to give a talk in Italy, which I fully intend to take up, Insya-Allah. Whilst my sleeping habits still remain much to be desired, I have met so many kind people and made such wonderful friends, especially since my move to the States.

So with 2009 being surprisingly pleasant and trouble-free, I can only pray that 2010 be that and better. May Allah SWT continue to look after me as He has done thus far, and bless me with spiritual peace, guiding me along the right path in every decision I make, and as an added bonus, to a soulmate, Aamiin.

Here's to a wonderful and blessed 2010, and may everyone find love, riches, and wisdom. :)

Fall

2009-10-25T07:40:00.005+08:00

- Rosebury Ave, St Louis, 2009 -

Thought I should go out and benefit from the rare sun and take some photos today, especially since the weather forecast for the week does not seem too promising, i.e. cloudy/rain/cold. This is my first autumn ever, though I have been told that this place has somehow skipped autumn and gone straight to winter, given the sudden drop in temperature. Either way, it is freezing cold!

Nothing much to update; survived the 2nd stats exam, have another exam this week, got a poster to do for a conference as well as stimuli to construct for my study.

Am currently still traumatized by house bugs. Wondering if the bugs will be having a month-long winter party at my house should I go home at the end of the semester. =|

The End & A Beginning

2009-10-03T14:40:00.003+08:00

- Missouri Botanical Garden, Saint Louis, 2009 -

It's been a really long week and the weekend is a much welcomed respite from school. Typing this while freezing my toes off just because I'm too lazy/cheap to turn on the heater. But I'll turn it on soon, just because I like the feeling of being lightly toasted (it makes my apartment smell like an oven too). Then I'll turn it off, because for some reason, either because my comforter is that awesome or I sleep like a dead log, that I don't feel the cold when asleep.

Talking about the weather was not my initial intention for this post; I guess I couldn't find the right words to talk about how the past week went. Because I'm just that sort of person.

End of Orientation

2009-08-26T12:10:00.003+08:00

- Washington University in Saint Louis, 2009 -

Classes officially start tomorrow but mine start on Thursday. In any case, today was a lovely way to end off the orientation - the library is awesome! Glad I turned up for most of the orientation events and met all these wonderful people :)

Finally bought some dates to break fast with, thanks to Sarah, who is a sweetheart! :)

Love this place!

Ramadhan Kareem to all :) And happy 400th anniversary of Galileo's telescope, as according to Google.

Another Day

2009-08-15T08:52:00.005+08:00

- Saint Louis, MO, 2009 -

A little update while I wait for maghrib. Cooked ayam kicap tomato (chicken cooked in tomato and soya sauce) and stir-fry vegetables today, maybe I'll upload the photos another time.

On another note, I was wondering if I should start a new blog to chronicle my PhD blues/adventure, especially since it's the beginning of a new milestone in my life... oh well, who knows if I'll even have time to upkeep a blog once school starts!

Orientation starts on Monday!

Have a great weekend everyone. :)

Overseas

2009-08-09T02:32:00.007+08:00

- St. Louis, MO, 2009 -
From top left: on the plane; Crowne Plaza, Clayton; my bed; Sunrise from my bedroom window; Washington University; Yellow fire hydrant; the Arch by the Mississippi river; Museum of Westward Expansion (under the Arch); Busch Stadium; Guess the animal 1; Guess the animal 2; Hibiscus; flamingos; love the flora & fauna here.

Just a little update since I've just uploaded my photos using my aunt's cable. Not feeling that great since things that I was supposed to bring are either missing or did not get packed. Now I've got to get back to my thesis.

Oh yeah, Happy National Day to everyone.

44 Days

2009-06-12T17:13:00.002+08:00

- Perth, 2008 -

Back after a 4-month hiatus.. 44 more days till I get on the plane! Have pretty much settled all the things I need to do before I leave except for submitting the deposit to hold my apartment till I arrive and most importantly, my thesis. :P Pray I get through this!

In other news, there's a gaping hole in my gum, thanks to an unplanned wisdom tooth surgery due to a sudden infection from a cyst. Note to self: get a better and more reassuring dentist next time. Now I'm not even sure if I can eat all my favourite local food before I leave. :(

Need to start packing soon.. Does anybody want to donate anything to my new apartment? :P

Keep cool during this hot weather! :)

Because love is all you need

2009-02-07T20:23:00.005+08:00

- Fremantle, Perth, 2008 -

The past week has been another rough week, with a high fever and a throat infection that left me bedridden and voiceless for a few days. It still hurts to speak and I still cough every minute; I really pray that the following week (and the weeks to come) will be a much easier one on the body and soul.

The past week was also full of good news and bad news, but in my half-drugged torpor, all I could think about was when my voice was going to come back and when my chest will stop feeling sore from all that coughing, which is still all that I can think about these days.

So pardon me if I have not been in a good mood, if I have not been finding your wisecracks amusing or if you have suffered the brunt of a significantly shortened fuse. Now is just not a good time, unless you are going to be bringing me some love, or lucre, or both.

Postcard from Perth (2)

2009-01-27T17:14:00.003+08:00

- AQWA, Perth, 2008 -

They asked me how I knew...

2009-01-26T01:14:00.004+08:00

- Central Cafe, Perth, 2008 -

It has been a trying week for me, what with heading to the lab every day, facing sudden glitches in my grad school applications, talking to rude administrative staff overseas over the phone and more. Nonetheless, it comforts me to know that despite such tests of patience, I am still able to find little sprigs of blessings that come in the form of family, friends and strangers. :)

Mere Coincidence or Part of the Plan?

2009-01-12T02:16:00.003+08:00

Was just reading through my blog archives when I found this - saying that I should major in Linguistics, all the way back in 2006, a good 3 years ago! Am I the only one who found it bizarre that I'm doing Psycholinguistics now?

I pray for a good start to my academic year which begins today, Aamiin! :)

2008

2009-01-01T18:22:00.008+08:00

- Tanjung Aru Beach, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

I was just reading the post I had done a year ago to summarize my 2007, where I sounded really happy and blessed. Well, 2008 has been equally wonderful but not without its challenges. So I have graduated Alhamdulillah, received several awards, got invited to the Istana and by some twist of fate, I got a scholarship to do my Master's and here I am, having passed a semester with one more to go, Insya-Allah. Yet, words could not have described the dissonance that I have experienced and am still experiencing with regards to the paths I have to choose. Graduate school applications have been both challenging and hopeful at the same time; I just pray for the best for I know no matter what happens, it is all part of His plan for me.

For that I am grateful for my wonderful family and friends; without their support, I would not have been where I am now. I am grateful to be blessed always with His love, for I know without it, I would not have been brave enough to tackle my challenges. I am grateful to be blessed with inspiration from around me, without which I would not have striven to be a better human being.

2008 has been an unpredictable but wonderful year nonetheless; 2009 could possibly be equally unpredictable for anything can happen. I pray that I will be able to finish my thesis on time, graduate, get offers from PhD programs, improve my proficiency in Arabic, have good sleeping habits and be blessed with kindness, love and charity, Aamiin. If all goes well, I will be overseas for a really long time, Insya-Allah, and I pray that I will have the heart and courage to start anew, Aamiin.

Here's to a wonderful 2009, filled with love in your heart, peace in your mind and happiness in your eyes. :)

Postcard from Perth

2008-12-28T19:53:00.003+08:00

- Caversham Wildlife Park, Perth, 2008 -

Awwal Muharram Mubarak to all! :)

Life in Mini (6)

2008-12-28T18:46:00.003+08:00

- Rottnest Island, Perth, 2008 -

Hello from Perth!

2008-12-10T18:21:00.003+08:00

- Ilyas, King's Park, Perth -

Life in Mini (5)

2008-11-28T01:27:00.004+08:00

- Gran Madre, Torino, 2007 -

Taking a hiatus since I've too much to do before I leave for Australia; will be back on the 15th Insya-Allah.

Life in Mini (4)

2008-11-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

- Disneyland Paris, France, 2007 -

Looking Ahead

2008-11-14T23:25:00.003+08:00

- Marseille, France, 2007 -

Currently busy with grad school applications, DALF preparation & exams.. Feeling blessed and grateful with such wonderful people around me :)

Life in Mini (3)

2008-11-07T00:10:00.003+08:00

- F1 Grand Prix, Monaco, 2007 -

Life in Mini (2)

2008-11-05T23:42:00.003+08:00

- Arc de Triomphe, Paris, 2007 -

Life in Mini (1)

2008-11-05T03:55:00.002+08:00

- Florence, Italy, 2007 -

Holiday Mood at the Wrong Time

2008-10-31T03:40:00.003+08:00

- Pulau Mamutik, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

Too Much, Too Long

2008-10-22T12:25:00.003+08:00

- Arab Street, Singapore -

18 years of taking exams without a break; the brain is screaming for one while the heart is begging for it.

Night @ The Istana

2008-10-12T15:38:00.005+08:00

- Istana, Singapore, 2008 -

Salam Aidil Fitri :)

2008-10-01T15:21:00.003+08:00

- State Mosque, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

Stepping Stone

2008-09-20T22:35:00.002+08:00

- Pulau Mamutik, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

Save the Last Dance for Me

2008-09-14T18:27:00.004+08:00

- Kinabalu Park, Sabah, 2008 -

Straight Curves

2008-09-08T14:30:00.005+08:00

- National Museum, Singapore -

Longing

2008-08-24T11:54:00.005+08:00

- National Museum, Singapore, 2008 -

Decisions

2008-08-10T01:59:00.004+08:00

- Institut du Monde Arabe, Paris, 2007 -

For someone as capricious as I am, decision-making is not my forte, even more so when it comes to decisions regarding my life. It suddenly came to mind that had I not been indecisive and swiftly stuck to a path for that particular goal, I could have probably saved myself a lot of money and from a lot of heartache. It is the paradox of choice, yet to explain it as a mere paradox is to oversimplify such a complex sentiment mixed with fear, greed and hope. For where does one draw the line between perseverance and plain idiocy for sticking to something? So here I am, still trying to make these decisions and leave them with Him who knows best.

Red Beauty

2008-08-04T10:24:00.004+08:00

- Garden Show, 2008 -

Life is but a play

2008-07-30T23:39:00.004+08:00

- Tanjung Aru, Kota Kinabalu, 2008 -

“All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages”

- William Shakespeare

Unsaid, Unseen, Unheard

2008-07-29T03:18:00.003+08:00

The soft breeze that gently whispers

The music of the birds that carries her song

To valiantly seek what is truly hers

Could it have been him all along?

I did not upload a photograph today for I could not think of any that can successfully convey my emotions at the moment. I feel blessed yet wary, happy yet depressed, hopeful yet cautious, brave yet timid, and more. Just when you thought that you were going to suffer from logorrhoea, your heart clams up, your brain refuses to function and you can no longer say what you had originally wanted to say, all in that order. For it all begins in the heart; how does one will oneself to do what the heart is unwilling? The nuance of "I feel" differs from "I think", yet how far can one's feelings differ from one's thoughts? It is a neverending vicious cycle of one's feelings moulding one's thoughts, and vice versa, for one's thoughts can change the way one feels. People may argue that it is a chicken and egg conundrum, but for me, it all begins in the heart. My heart, that has been given to the One and only who will always be there for me, yet my weak heart continues to be stricken with impurities that threatens my love. It all begins in the heart; no one but Him sees my heart for what it really is, hears my thoughts for what they really are, and says the truth for what it has always been. It all begins in the heart - the unsaid, unseen and unheard - between you and Him.

More about Me :)

2008-07-20T01:25:00.001+08:00

Beauty in Creation

2008-07-09T11:32:00.006+08:00

"See ye not how Allah hath created seven heavens in harmony,
And hath made the moon a light therein, and made the sun a lamp?"
Surah An-Nur, 71: 15-1

These days have been pretty uneventful save for an epiphany I had during Shaykh Khalil Moore's lecture. I'm taking my GRE in 6 days, so please pray for me! :)

Seeking

2008-06-28T01:58:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you wonder why those who know you for years barely know you, yet those who know you for just a moment seem like they have known you for a lifetime. Then you begin to wonder if the latter is even possible when you do not even reveal your true self to anyone but Him.

Design in Nature

2008-06-26T12:34:00.004+08:00

For an enlightening reading on the amazing and flawless design in the flight of insects, do have a look here.

“He is Allah - the Creator, the Maker, the Giver of Form.
To Him belong the Most Beautiful Names.
Everything in the heavens and earth glorifies Him.
He is the Almighty, the All-Wise.”

Al-Hashr: 24

Trends

2008-06-22T16:56:00.004+08:00

- Sunset @ Kota Kinabalu -

Had to change to a new desktop wallpaper due to a silly mistake of which I am sure you would hardly be interested to know. In any case, friends and I were just discussing of a relatively new trend - it is no longer "in" to get married, what's "in" now is to get pregnant/give birth! Gah I'm getting old.

Desert of Life

2008-06-20T20:54:00.002+08:00

- Tanjung Aru Beach 1, Kota Kinabalu -

Other than the thousands of crabs we saw running away from us as we walked along the beach, these lovely patterns formed on the sand by the waves was an unexpected find. There is nothing more revitalizing than to walk along the beach with your feet on the warm sand, listening to the soothing sound of the waves and pondering over the beauty of life, all while feeling blessed that you have the opportunity to do so.

Without a Purpose

2008-06-14T22:54:00.003+08:00

- State Mosque, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah -

Having just completed the phonetic coding of 11640 responses, I am left with a writer's block. I did initially have a purpose in drafting this blog post but I suppose fulfilling the purpose of 'not wanting to leave this blog untended' shall suffice for now. My days are pretty much uneventful and I am trying my best to make them follow some sort of schedule, i.e. practise for my GRE after breakfast, do research work after lunch and rest after dinner. What usually happens is that I wake up in time for brunch and end up doing my work the whole day, sleeping late and waking up late the next day. Of course this vicious cycle has to end; $237.66 for the GRE is too costly a price to pay for not getting a good score! Thus, I shall end my aimless rambling and head for more purposeful ventures.

Borneo - Land Under the Wind

2008-06-05T00:50:00.005+08:00

- Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, 2008 -

So I'm back from Sabah with sunburnt skin and stomach flu; it was still a lovely holiday nonetheless, filled with rich experiences of culture, gastronomy, nature and more. Kota Kinabalu is really a city that caters to almost every tourist. Even better if you can be mistaken/pass off as a Malaysian. :D That said, I hope I get better soon! Malaysia, Truly Asia!

Of Apathy and Destiny

2008-05-01T13:34:00.004+08:00

- Brugge, Belgium, 2007 -

Brugge easily gets the prize for being the prettiest, the most colourful and the most surreal town. It is also small so you could walk around the entire town in a day. Even then, there would be all these little surprises waiting for you around the corner or a hidden street. Again, Brugge was never on my travel plans until Aurelie, my French classmate, mentioned how pretty it is, as we were to hear from others who had been there. What better way to spend our Easter weekend in Europe than to spend it in Belgium, famous for its chocolates? :)

On another note, I have been feeling quite apathetic this month with regards to my post-graduate plans. Que sera sera, if nothing comes out of my e-mails, I believe that God has something better for me in His plans; everything that happens is for the best, even the negative ones, as evinced by all the events in my life thus far. I just need to be patient and not be disheartened, for He knows best.

What The Recently-Declared-Jobless a.k.a Graduate Does

2008-04-26T16:00:00.004+08:00

Someone please find me a job! ^_^

Solitude

2008-04-24T03:29:00.002+08:00

- Torino, Italy, 2007 -

Torino, or Turin, was the very first Italian city I visited. It was never on my travel wishlist and furthermore, at that time, I could not speak a word of Italian; it was one of those irresistible offers on the SNCF's website where we just had to pay 35 euros to take the TGV (my favourite train) to go there and 45 euros for a first-class seat on our return. It was only when I was there that I learnt it had just hosted the Winter Olympics just 3 months ago and the city still had remnants of the decorations all over. With a tourist card for just 18 euros, we could just about do everything possible for two days, and boy, was there plenty to do and see there! Museums, boat cruises, royal palaces, a special tram ride up a hill to get a panoramic view of the city, and the list goes on. Infatti, e' una citta bellissima. :)

How could I forget the lovely old Muslim couple who owned the hotel where we stayed and treated us like their grandchildren; it was hilarious each time Loren and I tried to communicate with them via hand gestures and a mixture of English, Spanish and French. When Loren needed change to call her father and wish him happy birthday, the lady walked with me to the shop nearby to get change. Not only that, they gave us free 1.5-litre bottles of soft drinks (something that we could not stop laughing about), biscuits during our stay and even bread to make sandwiches for our train ride home when we said the shops were closed that day.

So you see, one of the reasons why I love travelling is that I get to meet people who show such unconditional kindness to strangers. Perhaps I am blessed for God never fails to keep me safe in my journeys and let me experience such kindness everywhere I go. But I digress. I titled this entry "Solitude" for it was my initial intention to talk about what I was feeling earlier in the day, but just as I seem to be getting epiphanies these days with my endless thoughts, I got another one in the midst of writing - that even in solitude, one is never alone. It is the peace we seek, not escape, when we choose to seek solitude. For solitude is a matter of choice, while loneliness is not.

Yet again I have procrastinated, but I still have a day left to finish my community service report. While there is a thin line between optimism and delusion, why should one despair over inconsequential deadlines, when the true deadline every human faces is that of death. Again, there is a thin line between being fatalistic and realistic. With these precarious thin lines, may all of us have the benefit to be on the right side.

Holidays!

2008-04-20T11:57:00.003+08:00

- Paris, France, 2007 -

There's just something about the Eiffel Tower that makes you want to take a gazillion photos of it in every way possible. Anyway, exams are over! I know I should be feeling elated but strangely enough, I didn't feel anything, neither happiness nor sadness when I handed in that last exam on Friday. It was a bit of an anti-climax, to say the least, just like how you were looking forward to turning 21 but when it finally happened, it was nothing great. In any case, I have to go grade exam papers, complete an article for my editor and submit my community service report before I can have a proper rest. In the meantime, I'll just content myself with photos of beautiful island beaches with clear blue-green waters and sand as soft as flour.

Change

2008-04-13T14:10:00.002+08:00

So I changed my desktop yet again, because it's time for a change, or it's just another excuse to procrastinate. Thanks to the girls for giving me the bouquet; I must be the only girl you know who appreciates flowers solely for their photogenic qualities.

In other news, it's the exam week again and here's wishing all the best to everyone and especially the seniors, because we're finally graduating!

3 exams, 1 article, 1 community service report to graduation. :)

Of Birthdays

2008-04-11T08:02:00.004+08:00

March and April have been the months for birthdays thus far. Thank you all for your birthday wishes! :)

---------------------------

1 week to graduation

Three Years On

2008-04-04T00:21:00.003+08:00

That gentle wisp of feathery breeze,

That turn of his face to look at you,

That smile in return he waits for,

That smile keeps on playing on your lips.

So I have missed the birthday post for my blog yet again, by half an hour this time. Three years ago yesterday, I thought I would just start a blog for fun and see where it would take me to. Before long, what became clear was that I was not much of a writer; while I would have liked to be one, I was, and still am, too guarded to give away a part of my soul to share with a reader, as all brilliant writers do. Good writing makes you feel and empathize, and to do that requires the writer to share his emotions, digging deep within and bringing these emotions out, sharing with someone else. It becomes sort of an emotional investment where you place trust and faith in those you share these secrets with. Until I find it within me that willingness to share, or until I meet someone who can break down these walls of mine, until then I will keep everything to myself.

That said, I have a paper due in 16 hours and once again, I am nowhere near being done. 2 papers, 4 exams, 2 weeks to graduation. :)

PS: Have created a new site to hold all my photos from now on. :)

Panorama

2008-03-23T15:12:00.006+08:00

- Oberalp Pass, Switzerland, 2007 -

I've taken a long time to decide which of my scenic Switzerland photographs I want to show on my blog. Sure they are all beautiful, but no photographs (at least of mine) could capture the grandiosity and beauty of the moments when I was there. My photographs could not show how happy I was to be aboard the Glacier Express, how small I felt as the train passed through these huge mountains in a valley and how unbelievably blessed I was feeling to be able to experience and appreciate God's creations. Neither could they show how I tried to take surreptitious bites of the cheese puffs that I had fried at six in the morning because you were not allowed to bring your own food to the dining car that I was in. All that aside, here is a photograph of where the train stopped for five minutes at the highest point of the route (2033 m) and everyone got out to take photos or a smoke while just enjoying the scenery.

Walking Through

2008-03-21T13:11:00.003+08:00

- Monaco, 2007 -

The right words escape me as I try to write. I was going along the cheesy lines of walking through the tunnel of life and one can either choose to see the incoming crowd that overwhelms you or to look up and see the stars towards the end. So yes, sometimes, as it seems to be in this case, it is better to just let the picture speak for itself and convey the photographer's emotions.

-------------------------------

4 weeks to graduation

Suddenly I See

2008-03-19T20:02:00.003+08:00

- Lucerne, Switzerland, 2007 -

When you are stuck in a rut, sometimes all you need to do is to look elsewhere and voila, there goes what you have been searching for all this while.

Of Permanence and Humility

2008-03-16T15:01:00.002+08:00

- Paris, France, 2007 -

In this short life of mine, I have come across people from all walks of life, from the destitute who reminded me of how blessed I am to the talented and brilliant who impressed me with their humility and modesty, for as brilliant as they were, they knew that there would always be those who were better than them. It then perplexes me when I meet people with undeserved pride, people who are mediocre yet deluded into thinking that they are better than their peers. Do they not realize that any blessing that was bestowed upon them by God is but His, and that all of it is temporal? There is a fine line with recognition of one's capability and arrogance; I can only pray to God that I do not cross that and that I feel constantly blessed and grateful for whatever God has given me, both the good and the bad.

--------------------

5 weeks to graduation

B is for Beautiful, Blessed or Bored?

2008-03-08T19:00:00.006+08:00

- Brugge, Belgium, 2007 -

Sometimes you just do not know how to get rid of this dull ache within you and you begin to ask yourself if it is emptiness, loneliness, boredom or a little bit of all three.

---------------------

6 weeks to graduation

Life in Monochrome

2008-03-02T13:40:00.003+08:00

- Disneyland Paris, France, 2007 -

Should one attribute one's regression to the lack of intellectual stimulation? Perhaps it's a vicious cycle, a "chicken and egg" dilemma; one cannot exactly pinpoint where it all started. The only thing that one can be sure of is that everything is a mess.

------------

7 weeks to graduation.

Daydream

2008-02-23T03:12:00.004+08:00

- Venice, Italy, 2007 -

What a day for a daydream

What a day for a daydreamin' boy

And I'm lost in a daydream

Dreamin' 'bout my bundle of joy

And even if time ain't really on my side

It's one of those days for taking a walk outside

I'm blowing the day to take a walk in the sun

And fall on my face on somebody's new-mown lawn

I've been having a sweet dream

I've been dreaming since I woke up today

It's starring me and my sweet thing

'Cause she's the one makes me feel this way

And even if time is passing me by a lot

I couldn't care less about the dues you say I got

Tomorrow I'll pay the dues for dropping my load

A pie in the face for being a sleep'n bull dog

And you can be sure that if you're feeling right

A daydream will last long into the night

Tomorrow at breakfast you may pick up your ears

Or you may be daydreaming for a thousand years

What a day for a daydream

Custom made for a daydreaming boy

And I'm lost in a daydream

Dreaming 'bout my bundle of joy

- Lovin' Spoonful

----

PS: This has got to be one of my favourite seasons of American Idol yet! :)

One

2008-02-20T11:24:00.003+08:00

Sometimes all it takes is that one action, one gesture, one message, one person to take your breath away, make your heartbeat seemingly stop for longer than a second and then to that one place you have always wanted to go to, but then you stop and ponder, who could that one person be?

Week 7

2008-02-17T14:54:00.003+08:00

No Entry

- Montmartre, Paris, 2007 -

2 midterms in the next 2 days; let's hope I survive!

Everything Good Comes in Pairs

2008-02-13T14:17:00.003+08:00

Don't really have anything much to update in what seems to be a pretty unexciting life; other than my midterms coming up in exactly 5 days, a 4000-word essay due in 9 days and that I almost got sold off by an overly-enthusiastic mum. I'd like to say that I'm feeling emo since tomorrow is Valentine's Day but unfortunately, I'm feeling anything but that. Cheer up and smell the roses that'll be everywhere tomorrow! ;)

A Pleasant Surprise - My Colour

2008-02-02T17:34:00.000+08:00

you are pink
#FFC0CB

Your dominant hue is red... you are passionate, energetic, and unafraid of life's changes. You're all about getting out and trying something new, even if it means taking risks that other people would be afraid of. Hey, if they're afraid and you're not, more power to you, right?

Your saturation level is low - You stay out of stressful situations and advise others to do the same. You may not be the go-to person when something really needs done, but you know never to blow things out of proportion.

Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.

the spacefem.com html color quiz

Someday

2008-01-25T16:00:00.000+08:00

Someday we'll be old and dried up and then nobody will care. We try not to let it bother us too much but it still does. Someday we'll know who really cares, though we should have known it by now and it's all because we attempt to ignore the blatant truth, hoping there is another truth out there but we know there really isn't another one. Someday we'll find out the truth, only to learn that we had known it all along; that someday we'll be old and dried up and then nobody will care.

我必须休息因为我很累。

2008

2008-01-05T17:54:00.001+08:00

- Jump! -

For those SMU students who are still partying somewhere or enjoying your holidays, school starts on Monday! And hence my last term in SMU, unless by some disastrous coincidence my calculations turn out to be flawed. Despite all my grumbles about smuggers and the change in the school environment from cosy to clinical, the SMU experience has been nothing but beneficial for me. In the past 3.5 years, I've done so many things that I never would have imagined myself even attempting and it is all thanks to the opportunities that the school has provided, the wonderful professors who are always willing to impart their knowledge and my amazing friends who are always there for me. I'm unsure how much more the school will change with the incoming batches but I will always look back at my university years with fond memories of the crazy things my friends and I did.

Before I risk sounding like an SMU advertisement (which I absolutely have no intention to), here's wishing all the best to those who are graduating this semester! Let's make this last semester a kickass one that we'll never forget!

2007

2007-12-31T02:10:00.000+08:00

Exactly a year ago, I was busy packing and trying to walk on my twisted ankle after having missed a step on the stairs on Christmas, praying that I will be well enough for my flight the next day. Miraculously, I was able to walk and my 2007 started off at the airport, wondering if I could survive being overseas on my own for the very first time. On hindsight, I need not have worried, for perhaps I was meant all along to be overseas. No culture shock, no homesickness, I felt right at home.

In any case, 2007 has been unexpectedly a fantastic (fantastic being an understatement) year of firsts and wonderful experiences. 2007 was the year that I went for exchange in France, learnt that I can actually cook, visited 28 European cities, made friends from all over the world, spent my birthday in Versailles, obtained a Diplôme de Français des Affaires avec un mention très bien, lugged over 45 kg of things alone over 2 flights, did an internship, got published with my own byline, went to Brunei where I stayed in a 5* hotel and felt like a princess, appeared on national TV, learnt a new language, got my very own workstation and a perfect term score, among other firsts. Of course, there were downs but there were definitely more ups than downs. How can I ever thank my friends and family for always being there for me, for those long-distance calls, conference calls, chats in the twilight zone, MSN chats and sms-es? Reminiscing about the entire year leaves me feeling extremely blessed and for that I am constantly grateful to God for being so kind to me.

2007 has been such a great year that I hope 2008 will be as good, if not better. Yet I know that 2008 could possibly be a difficult and unpredictable year for it is the year when I graduate, insya-Allah, and yet, my post-graduate plans are still hazy. Nonetheless, what would life be without its unexpected twists and turns? Perhaps I would fall in love, get a job, go overseas, further my studies, learn another new language, all of which do not necessarily have to be in that order. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

That said, have a great 2008! :)

Waiting

2007-12-29T17:47:00.000+08:00

- Eiffel Tower, Paris -

"What if I end up an old maid? We all assume we are going to meet someone, but what if we don't? What if I end up a bitter old lady who sits on a brown sofa stroking my spoilt cat which I feed fresh prawns? Or I start pushing around small yappy dogs in a pram because I never had children and went completely potty? That could be me in years to come. It's that 'What am I doing, where am I going?' question which quietly nags me during the day but screams at me at night."

- Katie in Look the World in the Eye

Holidays

2007-12-22T23:36:00.000+08:00

Was out yesterday night to take photos of the Xmas lights in town. Among other news, I have been pretty much bumming at home, thanks to the rainy weather. Many thanks as well to my library books, Arabic and photo processing for keeping me occupied these holidays, all in all a huge difference from my previous holiday.

500th Post

2007-12-09T15:33:00.000+08:00

- Return of the Baby Monster -

Exam Week!

2007-11-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

- Nice, France, Winter 2007 -

Exams are finally here and what better way to make oneself feel better than to change the look of one's desktop. :) 1 down, 2 more to go!

Please pray for me!

Currently Feeling Pensive

2007-10-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

- Lyn's Wedding, July 2007 -

Tu dimmi quando, quando
non guardarmi adesso amore
sono stanca
perché penso al futuro.
Tu dimmi quando, quando
siamo angeli
che cercano un sorriso
non nascondere il tuo viso
perché ho sete, ho sete ancora.

- Quando, Laura Pausini